Screw Money will have sex for Fritos

One Oklahoma woman and a Fritos Lays employee were arrested after he picked her up and she furnished him with her “services” in exchange for a case of Fritos chips. Makes you wonder how much sex you could get for a case of Doritos.

An Oklahoma City woman was arrested for prostitution after agreeing to have sex with a man in exchange for a $30 box of Frito-Lays chips. Lahoma Sue Smith, dubbed the Frito Lays prostitute, pleaded no contest to the charges.

Smith and the man were found partially clothed in her car. She told police her client didn’t have any money. He was a Frito-Lays employee and offered her a case of chips for sexual favors.

Smith, 36, was ordered to pay a $1,142 fine. The man, who has not been identified, was not charged.

Ah the old barter system is making a comeback. Now if only I would have thought of that I would be buying Fritos in bulk.

Adultury Against the Law in South Carolina?

Gov. Mark Sanford (R-SC) may not have only disgraced himself and his family, committed political suicide, and likely committed ethics violations by using public funds for his wild week in Argentina, but embedded in Chapter 15 of the South Carolina state code is one of those esoteric laws that those on the religious right must love. According to these codes adultery is illegal, though since it happened it Buenos Aries I don’t know if it means both parties have to be committing adultery in the state.

SECTION 16-15-60. Adultery or fornication.

Any man or woman who shall be guilty of the crime of adultery or fornication shall be liable to indictment and, on conviction, shall be severally punished by a fine of not less than one hundred dollars nor more than five hundred dollars or imprisonment for not less than six months nor more than one year or by both fine and imprisonment, at the discretion of the court.

SECTION 16-15-70. “Adultery” defined.

“Adultery” is the living together and carnal intercourse with each other or habitual carnal intercourse with each other without living together of a man and woman when either is lawfully married to some other person.

SECTION 16-15-80. “Fornication” defined.

“Fornication” is the living together and carnal intercourse with each other or habitual carnal intercourse with each other without living together of a man and woman, both being unmarried.

Yeah, the hiking the Appalachian trail on National Hike Naked Day sounds pretty good right about now, huh?

FBI Sought to Prevent the Release of "Deep Throat", No Not the Watergate Source, the Porn Film.

J Edgar Hoover the infamous FBI director is known for his obsession with communism, sex, taking down political enemies, and amassing power over the powerful and influential figures in American society in the name of order and the auspices of the cold war.

Here is one of the more bizarre endeavors of the Hoover era FBI that has recently come to lite. An unsuccessful effort to stop the release of the well-known 1972 porn movie classic “Deep Throat”. Lets just say the whole concept of the film left a bad taste in the mouth of the powers that be.

The FBI documents newly released to The Associated Press reveal the bureau’s sprawling and ultimately vain attempt to stop the spread of a movie some saw as the victory of a cultural and sexual revolution and others saw as simply decadent.

Agents seized copies of the movie, had negatives analyzed in labs and interviewed everyone from actors and producers to messengers who delivered reels to theaters.

And the FBI certainly kept detailed documentation of their operations against the films Director Gerard Damiano.

Aside from investigative records tracking subpoenas, interviews, screenings and shipments of the film, the Damiano file includes various FBI agents’ play-by-play accounts of the movie’s plot, and the specific role of Damiano in the agency’s investigation.

The FBI notes Damiano had been “somewhat cooperative,” On Aug. 7, 1973, an assistant U.S. attorney general writes to Kelley, saying Damiano is being considered for immunity. The memo doesn’t specify the crime, though mentioned throughout the file is the charge of interstate transportation of obscene material.

Vintage Condom Commercial

Even for Sinbad this has to be humiliating.

HT: Everything is Terrible

Who Consumes the Most Porn in America?

A new study says that Utah, likely the most conservative and traditional values state in the nation has the highest rate of porn consumption.

The most notoriously religious states seemed to have the highest number of porn consumers, with Utah taking the number one spot. The bottom states for paid porn were Liberal or Democrat states, which showed a significant increase.

Likewise, those states that have a ban on gay marriage show an 11% higher increase in porn viewing, a significant amount.

Also those who speak the most about “traditional values” and speak out the most about sex, are often the ones that consume the most. So next time you hear the village prude squawking about the immorality of sex, just remember they probably are living the exact opposite.

As shown in Table 4, subscriptions are also more prevalent in states where
surveys indicate conservative positions on religion, gender roles, and sexuality. In
states where more people agree that “Even today miracles are performed by the
power of God” and “I never doubt the existence of God,” there are more subscriptions
to this service. Subscriptions are also more prevalent in states where more
people agree that “I have old-fashioned values about family and marriage” and
“AIDS might be God’s punishment for immoral sexual behavior.” Survey results
come from the Pew Value Surveys (1987–2007 combined dataset).

This shouldn’t be a surprise. People in such climates are discouraged and face ostricization and even worse if they are open about and express their sexual desires and lifestyles. Therefore you have them resorting to more clandestine measures like hoards of young teenage boys concealing porn magazines beneath their mattresses. No matter how much we may talk it away or condemn it we all have sexual appetites.

CA Court Rules; Christian Schools can Expel students Who are Percieved as Gay

Watch out girls who hold hands or guys who share the occasional manly hug, if you “seem” gay and go to a Christian Private school you could be expelled. Don’t people like this have anything better to do then fan the flames of sexual witch hunts? Who cares who loves who as long as they don’t hurt anybody. And is there really a way short of an admission by a person themselves or catching them in an overtly sexual act that proves someone is gay? Note to everyone Religion is about more than just sex and asking ourselves “Who would Jesus sleep with?”

If some Christians who are constantly bloviating about sex, invested just half the energy speaking out against racism, invading other countries, tending to the ill, mending broken spirits, and helping the impoverished; the world would be a better place. I know not all Christians subscribe to this narrow minded drivel, but there are many loud voices who do.

A California appeals court ruled Monday that a Christian high school can expel students perceived to be lesbians, upholding a 2008 lower court ruling that there were “no triable” elements to the case.

The 4th District Court of Appeal in Riverside on Monday upheld California Lutheran High School’s right as a private, religious organization to exclude students based on sexual orientation. The ruling was released late Tuesday.

The two 16-year-old girls sued the school for expelling them on the basis of a “bond of intimacy” “characteristic of a lesbian relationship,” under a California discrimination law.

H/T: Raw Story

Is that a Cucumber in Your parachutte Pants or are You Just Happy to Not Eat Animals?

NBC has rejected an advertisment by PETA that the Animal Rights group hoped would air during the superbowl. Given all the prescence of all the vegetables it could also be used as footage for a porno made by your local 4-H Club.

‘Veggie Love’: PETA’s Banned Super Bowl Ad

Porn Kings want a Big fat Sweaty Green Package

TMZ.com reports that Hustler Publisher Larry Flynt and Joe Francis of the “Girls Gone Wild” series will be appealing to Washington D.C for a bailout of the porn industry. That does make sense in some ways, after all the corruption and actions of AIG and the subsequent bailout of them alone is in many ways like a snuff film. They screw the economy and by extension us, Washington discharges reams of money, and they screw us some more until finally they all but kill the economy.

Joe Francis and Larry Flynt claim the economy has made America’s sexual appetite go limp, so they’re going to the one place where sex is always rampant — Congress.

Flynt (the “Hustler” guy) and Francis (the “Girls Gone Wild” dude) are asking the government for a $5 billion bailout, claiming the adult entertainment industry has taken a huge shot to the face because of the downturn — citing the fact that XXX DVD sales are down 22% from a year ago.

“With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind,” Flynt says. “It’s time for Congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America.”

First of all interesting choice of a porn king using the word limp, was he trying to make a pun or did it just come out that way? Oh my God, I just made one there without even knowing it.

Flynt talks about “rejuvenating the sexual appetite of Americans”. Well Flynt seems to think if they aren’t buying his porn America has become impotent in terms of sexual desire.

Now the reason for the “shrinkage” in the porn industry might not just be our current economic status. After all now a days all someone has to do is google porn or some sex related word, click on images, and they will get a plethora of every kind of sexual act you could imagine, and many others that you never could. You can also go on websites and get porn for free. In fact these days you don’t even have to look up porn, porn finds you with annoying pop-up ads, a flashing cyber Las Vegas with promises of orgies and colorful terms for various sexual acts that often consist of a verb and the name of a famous city. So it may not be the current economic devastation that is bringing about a loss of business in the porn community, but an increasing decentralization of the business and ways that people can get it for free.

Now on the subject of their “package”. When talking about “rejuvenating the sexual appetites of America” their are two things that couldn’t turn me off faster. Actually three: Wilford Brimley naked, Ann Coulter’s neck, and a most likely rotund congressman or congresswoman most likely above the age of 55 talking about porn, porn related matter, and sex toys in congressional floor speeches. Sorry, I don’t know about you but having Sen. Dianne Feinstien (D-CA) or Sam Brownback (R-Kansas) (Brownback now their is a name that just screams of sexual connotations)doesn’t quite do it for me.

All that said, at the end of the day this industry will likely have to be bailed out. I mean if we don’t there could be hookers out on the street. Can you imagine the thought of hookers out on street? Standing on corners asking people for a “hand out”?

This Has Got to be One of the Weirdest Commercials Ever

And Can someone tell me exactly what this is a commercial for?

Nudists Rock the Vote?

In West Florida, there is now a request by some voters for “clothing optional polling places”

LAND O’ LAKES, Fla. (AP) – A nudist community on Florida’s west coast wants to establish the first clothing-optional polling site. The Caliente Resorts, located in Pasco County north of Tampa, has approached election officials about the idea.
Nothing in state law would prohibit it, but the supervisor of elections says he is opposed to creating any new precincts before redistricting in 2010.

In other words I will show you my hanging Chad if you show me your….. ahhh never mind pathetic attempt at erection, oh I am sorry election humor.